1
Montréal
by Grand Corps Malade
“I had the most fucked up dream” the text read. He quickly replies: What was it about? Charlie thinks and simply texts back: too long by text. Will tell you about it tonight.
Coming Soon…
2
Walking on Broken Glass
by Annie Lennox
The trip to Nova Scotia had been a disaster. Mr. X had been drunk every single day. It only took Charlie 4 days to realize that Mr. X was hiding his alcoholic habits. On the second day, she already had her doubts about his “sobriety”.
Coming Soon…
3
Saturday Morning
by Rules
On a beautiful sunny Fall day, with red and yellow leaves protecting the ground, Charlie, Miss B (Charlie’s best friend), Miss B’s mother and other friends drive up to Espace Tonik’s parking lot. Charlie had discovered this place through an add on Facebook.
Coming Soon…
4
Listen to the Music
by The Doobie Brothers
Charlie’s dream made her experience emotions she hadn’t felt in a long time: hope, courage, even joy but mostly fear. The imagery was powerful, filled with symbols that resonated deeply with her, yet she didn’t understand.
Coming Soon…
5
Fooled around & fell in love
by Elvin Bishop
Charlie is sitting on a stool at Poivre et Sel, a karaoke bar on the corner of Iberville and Masson Streets with her friend Miss N. on a mild winter night in Montreal who doesn’t have her white winter coat on.
Coming Soon…
6
Miracle of Love
by Eurythmics
Charlie realizes that the dream’s themes: loneliness, fear, hope, and the quest for meaning actually mirrors her own life. Her life’s ups and downs and traumas, she believes, could resonate with others who are going through similar battles. Slowly, an idea begins to form in her mind: What if she turned this into a book?
Coming Soon…
7
Unwritten
by Natasha Bedingfield
Staring at the blank screen, not knowing where to begin, Charlie thinks. Let’s start with the title. Easy. If Only I knew. Because she did ask herself that question when she woke up from the dream. If only she knew the meaning of it.
Coming Soon…
8
Tightrope
by LP
Tightrope is about taking risks, chances and trying something new. You don’t know how it feels until you try it. Enjoy the journey.
Coming Soon…
9
16
by Baby Keem
While writing her book and doing research at home, Charlie puts on her wedding’s playlist. She still remembers Mr. X’s face as she walked out on the arm of Rudy, her older brother, in the garden of the house in Sainte-Anne-de-Beaupré they had rented for the occasion.
Coming Soon…
10
Have you ever seen the rain
by CCR
Charlie sets up her yoga mat in their what they call “Airbnb room”. It is a spare room that they had rented out for a while and it had worked really well and helped them pay for part of their wedding. Then, the Pandemic hit. They had gotten a second dog, Price, in the process, but the city installed new policies, wanting a piece of the money pie, and so, they stopped renting out the room.
Coming Soon…
11
Breakaway
by Kelly Clarkson
The train rattles and sways, its rhythmic motion lulling Charlie into a contemplative state. As she stares out the window, the passing scenery is blurred into a collage of greens and browns, each fleeting moment a metaphor for the phases of separation she has been traversing.
Coming Soon…
12
Pasadena
by La Femme
Charlie decides to spend a week at her friend Miss C’s home with BB so that she can have a break from all the tension at home.
When she had told Mr. X that she was going away, 10 days prior, he made sure to let her know that it was pointless and acted like a jerk the whole time before she left.
Coming Soon…
13
Ayoye
by Martha Wainwright
The morning sun casts a warm glow over the familiar streets as Charlie steps out of her front door while saying goodbye to her dogs, her mind already buzzing with the day ahead. She smooths down her winter coat, adjusts her bag on her shoulder, and turns to lock the door behind her.
Coming Soon…
14
Body in my bed
by Vérité
There is someone in her bed, a mass of some sort, but she does not recognize it. She is confused. Is it her, is it him? Is she having an out of body experience? She doesn’t recognize her body anymore, she feels like she is living an out of body experience that is just going on and on with no end in sight. So weird.
Coming Soon…
15
Sous le Vent
by Garou and Céline Dion
The train stops abruptly in the Denial station. is a stop where you withdraw from friends and family and bury your head in the sand to avoid making important decisions. Essentially, it is a hide out, but not necessarily in a good way.
Coming Soon…
16
As it was
by Harry Styles
The Eagles are in the Super Bowl and it has been 10 days since Charlie’s life took a complete different turn.
It’s nice to have some liveliness inside their temporary apartment. Charlie even makes an effort to go grocery shopping so that she can prepare her special nachos from her Magnolia Table cookbook by Joanna Gaines.
Coming Soon…
17
Wake me up when it’s all over
by Avicci
Depression isn’t just sadness; it’s an all-encompassing numbness that dulls every emotion and colours every thought. For Charlie, this darkness has become a constant companion. Years ago, she was lively, curious, and full of dreams, but now, those dreams feel distant, almost impossible. Actually, she doesn’t have any dreams anymore. She can’t even breath.
Coming Soon…
18
Don’t start now
by Dua Lipa
Charlie has never been to the new CHUM. Luckily it’s located in the centre of Montreal, only two subway stops from work.
The checking in process is fairly smooth and quick and Charlie doesn’t wait long before meeting her surgeon. That’s a first.
Coming Soon…
19
Anti-Hero
by Taylor Swift
High on the side of the mountain pass, the train navigates the tracks that are flush with the side of the cliffs. Finally, it reaches its destination: Guilt.
It is a transition stop, one that you have to go through and get over the feeling of blame to move forward, rapidly. You don’t want to stagger too long at this station. The feelings of fault and blame will greet you but put yourself first and be easy on yourself.
Coming Soon…
20
I’d rather go blind
by Etta James Bedingfield
« When we are angry, it’s often because there is a gap between our expectations and reality. »
– Edith Eger
He has a girlfriend. He is in a relationship, less than two months after she crawled out from theirs.
Coming Soon…
21
What was I made for
by Billie Eilish
Somewhere in Normandy, drifting slowly on a boat cruise through a canal, Charlie lets the hum of the engine and the quiet lapping of water become her soundtrack. She’s here with her brother for the intense but incredible 80th anniversary of a D-Day tour; one of those experiences that feels too big to grasp in the moment, too full of ghosts and gratitude.
Coming Soon…
22
Walking Away
by Craig David
Charlie goes back to the condo but this time with her own scotch tape and scissors. She feels better now since her little outburst the other day. Even though she isn’t proud of it, she believes that she was (is) entitled to one after all the shit Mr. X has been putting her through. He gets a free pass every single time, so why can’t she?
Coming Soon…
23
ABCDEFU
by Gayle Bedingfield
Charlie stands in the Rage Room at Sports de Combats on Casgrain Street in Montreal, suited up in goggles and a padded overall, her fingers twitching around the handle of a hammer. Junior is beside her, calm, collected. The space smells like dust and tension. It’s the perfect place for what’s been living inside her.
Coming Soon…
24
Next to You
by Charlotte Cardin
Charlie stops by the day before the official moving day to undo the wall of China that Mr. X had made with her stuff, blocking the entrance to her office, and to grab her bicycle.
She sees him. He is so mean, such an ass.
Coming Soon…
25
Weather with you
by Crowded House
On the ride to the courthouse, Charlotte, Charlie’s lawyer, plays loudly Shania Twain in the car to pump themselves up. Charlie laughs, perfect song choice.
Coming Soon…
26
It ain’t over ’til its over
by Lenny Kravitz
Another train ride, a different station, lost in the middle of nowhere called Fear. How will you cope emotionally and financially? While the idea of being alone in this space is scary, you have no choice but to face these feelings head on. As a result you will feel much stronger on the inside and be able to hop on a different train that is a lot more pleasurable.
Coming Soon…
27
Drivers license
by Olivia Rodrigo
It’s silly, she knows it. However, Charlie feels a need to tell someone out loud. And so, she does, in the car with Miss L on their way back home from work to West Island.
“Do you think Mr. X would take me back?” Charlie finally says after taking a long deep breath.
There is a pause, an empty silence.
Coming Soon…
28
Lemon Tree
by Fools Garden
As Charlie sets out with Miss B and Miss D to go visit an apartment on Saint-Joseph Boulevard that her friend, Mr. O found, Charlie notices that Miss L’s car is gone. Well that just fucked up her life! As if she needed more shit to happen to her this year.
Coming Soon…
29
Listen to your heart
by Roxette
« Grief is all the unspent love we carry for those we’ve lost. »
– Unknown
Charlie is officially moving away and temporarily going to the burbs, West Island of Montreal that is. On her way there, while driving Miss L’s car, Charlie reminisces about the good times she had with Mr. X.
Coming Soon…
30
Mirrors
by Justin Timberlake
In a maze-like space surrounded by mirrors all reflecting back to her her image, looking at herself. They represent her multiple layers and that is alright. Charlie realizes that she needs to learn to lower herself to someone’s level to be understood and to do so that she needs to use manipulation. It is unclear to her as how that is suppose to work in different scenarios and is uncomfortable with the word “manipulation”.
Coming Soon…
31
Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby
by Cigarettes After Sex
It’s Monday, and Charlie has just finished working from home. She decides to go for a walk, it’s not too cold, only -4 degrees. Not bad for February in Montreal. She wishes she had gone out sooner to catch the leftover beautiful sun rays that paved the snowy streets giving them a pixie dust filter.
Coming Soon…
32
Easy on me
by Adele
Second to last stop: Re-invention, how exciting! Finally, you’ll start to think more rationally, clearly and feel ready to move on to your final stop.
« Life always gives you the choice to make it an accident or an adventure. »
– Unknown
Coming Soon…
33
Call Out My Name
by Kelly Clarkson
The last therapy session was interesting.
Charlie wanted to work on her melancholy. Over the last few weeks, she had been struggling.
She just doesn’t see the purpose of it all anymore and wants to check out and not be here. But she can’t go through with it, at least not yet, even if she has already tried.
Coming Soon…
34
All by Myself
by Celine Dion
Charlie is walking Gambgee, Miss C’s six year old pitbull through Angrignon Park while listening to her music. There is a soft breeze, the leaves have started to change color and she can feel the warmth of the sun pass through the branches. Lenny Kravitz’s song: It ain’t over until it’s over just started to play. She doesn’t know where it comes from but it hits her like a wrecking ball as Miley Cyrus would say.
Coming Soon…
35
A Lot More Free
by Max McNown
As Charlie enters the grand Hall of Acceptance she is overcome with a sense of liberation, albeit tinged with sadness.
She finally acknowledges that she can’t change her husband nor the past, but she can choose on how to move forward. Packing up her belongings and leaving their shared home had been daunting, but as the miles slip away beneath the wheels of the train, she feels the weight lift from her shoulders.
Coming Soon…
36
Far Behind
by Candlebox
The moving forward seemed daunting at first. Charlie felt like when she started this new journey of hers, she had Mount Everest in front of her or just Goliath, making her seem small and insignificant.
Where and how to start, she had pondered.
Coming Soon…
37
Confetti
by Charlotte Cardin
Last night, Charlie had a conversation on FaceTime with her 15 year old son. It had been a while since they last spoke and Charlie was happy that he called despite being exhausted from work and too much partying.
Coming Soon…
38
Home Sweet Home
by Mötley Crüe
Charlie has completely made herself vulnerable to the world with her book. What are people gonna think? What is her mother gonna say? She doesn’t want to embarrass her sons with her stories. She realizes though, that besides her kids’, no one else’s opinion matters. She can’t change her past, her actions, her life’s stories. This is her reality, her interpretation of it and she will publish it.
Coming Soon…
39
Woman in Chains
by Tears for fears
Charlie begins to reframe her story. She is no longer a woman abandoned but someone who has chosen to walk away from an unfulfilling love. Though the pain lingers, she finds solace in the knowledge that she has loved deeply, honestly, even if Mr. X hasn’t.
Coming Soon…
40
Dernier Métro
by Kendji Girac and Gims
Mr. X would not stop calling.
It had been weeks of messages and missed calls, all circling the same subject. The realtor. Miss X. The condo. The dogs. The money.
Charlie felt like she was reliving the last year on a loop.
He called her by Miss X’s name once. A “slip-up,” he said.
Coming Soon…
41
We are never getting back together
by Taylor Swift
Once a dick, always a dick, except that Mr. X didn’t seem to be a dick at first. Charlie should have known better though. There were signs, tiny ones, but she never allowed herself to read into them because she never expected that they would become strangers to each other, that she would leave him.
Coming Soon…
42
You’ve got the love
by The Source and Candi Station
Sitting at a table by herself in the far eastern corner of the bar LOL in Ubud, Charlie is enjoying the 3 for 2 drink specials. She decided to try out some cocktails since the beer here is just blah. Three mojitos, all different, for fun. You have the classic, which is just fine. The strawberry that is sweet but has a strange after taste. The winner, hands down, is the ginger mojito.
Coming Soon…
43
Beautiful Crazy
by Luke Combs
It’s hard for Charlie to accept compliments but she is starting to see herself through the eyes of her friends and accept the positive because up until now, her brain focused more on the negative. She never heard the positive.
Our brain is literally programmed to be toxic as it is coded for survival and not for happiness. No, Karen, we do not live in care bear land.
Coming Soon…
44
My silver lining
by First Aid Kit
I can, I want, I’m willing, I choose, I am.
Looking back, Charlie can hardly believe how far she’s come. What began as a desperate attempt to understand a vivid dream transformed into a profound journey of self-discovery and healing.
Coming Soon…
45
Used to be young
by Miley Cyrus
There are moments when Charlie feels herself changing, and it terrifies her. Not because she’s softening or growing wiser, but because she feels herself dulling. She still feels young inside. Still loud. Still wild. Still the kind of woman who laughs too hard and dances without thinking about who’s watching. But lately, that version of her feels buried under something heavy and foreign.
Coming Soon…
46
Je te pardonne
by Gims, featuring Sia
Charlie is excited to open a new chapter and skip into her next adventure. It is exhilarating and daunting as well as she needs to find a place to rent by the middle of next month in France so that she can give a proper address to the movers to go to.
Coming Soon…
47
Fuck You
by Lily Allen
But of course, nothing ever goes to plan, at least not for Charlie, not these last two years.
Mr. X texts her on the day of signing the deed of sale which Charlie doesn’t respond to :
5:11 a.m.: What do I need to expect last minute? And Price is supposedly calm (which I sincerely doubt) (he has been in contact with Lea)
Coming Soon…
48
The New Thing Dies
by Ray Bull
Charlie doesn’t know what to do after this conversation nor what to think. She brushes it away. She has to focus on getting Price to France. That’s about the only thing she can handle right now.
Coming Soon…
49
Killing In The Name
by Rage Against the Machine
Charlie is so fucking angry. Rage is boiling inside her. She feels like a volcano about to implode. She could physically hurt someone just to let her rage out.
Coming Soon…
50
Colle au corps
by Noon
A few nights later, Charlie is trying to sleep. She hears her phone buzz. She doesn’t react. She hears it again a few minutes later. She doesn’t react. She hears it…oh what the fuck? She rolls to her side and reaches for her phone. Missed call from realtor. I’ll call her tomorrow. Missed call from Mr. X’s mom. Well that is odd.
Coming Soon…
51
Sour Times by Portishead
But of course, nothing ever goes to plan, at least not for Charlie, not these last two years.
Charlie goes to bed somewhat happy. They have finally sold their condo. Yippee Ki-Yay Motherfucker! She doesn’t know how she feels, somewhat relieved. Tomorrow, she gets to pick up Price at the airport. Everything is all set. He got picked up from Lea’s home on time.
Coming Soon…
52
Runaway Train by Soul Asylum
Be patient, you will sell it. Be patient, it will happen. Be patient, it is almost over. Be patient…. Two years of being patient. Two years of hell. Two years on survival mode.
Coming Soon…
53
Beautiful
by The Avener remix with Bipolar Sunshine
Charlie feels like she is both masculine and feminine and since its a tug of war inside of her, it’s no wonder that in all her relationships she never knew where she stood. Charlie will later on learn that there is a spectrum on which you fall. But if she can find a partner that can juggle between masculine and feminine as well, could that make it a perfect match for her?
Coming Soon…
54
Underneath the Blue
by Mosimann and Joe Clear
Staring at the blank screen, not knowing where to begin, Charlie thinks. Let’s start with the title. Easy. If Only I knew. Because she did ask herself that question when she woke up from the dream. If only she knew the meaning of it.
Coming Soon…
55
Zombie
by Yungblud
It took months really for Charlie to truly acknowledge Mr.X’s death; struggling with the person she had met and the one that she had left.
There had been very conflicting feelings between Mr. X being the love of her life vs. her tormentor dying. Charlie had felt guilt for feeling relief that the ordeal is finally over.
Coming Soon…
56
Fragile
by Cameron Whitcomb
Traumas floating up to the surface. Like a strawberry dropped in a glass of Champagne.
Message to the readers: There have been different encounters with Misters after Mr. X, but they will be better introduced later on. For this chapter and the following, it’s not really important knowing their back story.
Coming Soon…
57
Dancing in the Moonlight
by Isla June & A.O Gerber
So many changes occurred from the moment Charlie woke up from that dream back in the Fall of 202X to going out starting May 202X.
She doesn’t know how to tell the story without it being boring and depressing. There needs to be humor, a need for it to be uplifting, yet honest, raw and authentic.
Coming Soon…
58
Tu vas me manquer
by Gims
The first few months, while stuck in her temporary apartment, unable to move, she had hoped that Mr. X would have just showed up at her place, entered the bedroom like a glorious centurion and swept her out of bed, carrying her back to their home, their lives, to how it was before it all went to shit.
Coming Soon…
59
We Go Home
by The Avener and Adam Cohen
« My mom is a strong and mean Sicilian widowed grandma. »
So normal behavior ? …. How many women from Charlie’s generation have silently suffered under the care of their mothers?
Coming Soon…
60
Hate Street Dialogue
by The Avener and Rodriguez
Charlie entered the inner womb of life half willingly and half forcibly. No matter the why, she took a deep dive within herself.
Change is coming. The end of a chapter, the beginning of a new era.
Coming Soon…
